I want to talk about with you today trauma bonding. It is a vicious cycle that goes unseen as we tend to turn towards what is familiar and yet painful as can be the safety and comfort of the familiar can override our fears of the future that may not be predictable and more scary than we might think as we turn to old patterns only to decompose our own potential and sense of sovereignty even more.
Today’s topic is a little heavier and dense but I feel it is important for us not to downplay the heaviness and weight of these burdens we hold onto ourselves as we seek to expand but feel that we cannot due to past failures or thinking we are not good enough. Now I am not saying that I am a hero at this in stepping out of my comfort zone to be there as I should be in my full power, I am healing as much as any human being who has been on a long journey of evolution picking up so many inputs and blows to the ego wound body.
Here are the 5 steps I would like to share about today in helping you to recognise if the relationship or interaction you are having may be one on the toxic side of a relationship. I don’t feel I need to say it at this point but I want to warn you that this may be triggering for some of you who may have hidden hurts that may come up as I share the 5 steps.
- Do you feel stuck and are unsure of where to go next in your life because what you truly want is not within reach as someone have said you cannot do it? Dear one, I hope that you can recognise this relationship is not an uplifting one and it is being internalised within yourself as the negative self talk which is holding you into safety to ensure that your external reality is fitting with the perpetrators of your wounds and injuries to your self-esteem.
- How much time has gone by and yet the same results continue to occur as you find yourself thinking the same thoughts that do not serve you and those thoughts just becomes a separate entity in which you make space for as a burden you have felt you needed to carry in order to survive? Do you want to be doing the same thing tomorrow and the next day and see yourself happy as this continues?
- Procrastination is a key indicator that something is obstructing your growth. There is so much you can do out in the physical world but yet the pain continues which is calling you to feel and yet it feels painful so you escape only to perpetuate this pain that is holding a truth you need to know, “you are worth more than this, heal thyself”.
- Do you believe in yourself truly? Are you wearing masks in front of people only to realise that you’re the only one you needed to impress and become comfortable with? Now this one is a very triggering one I know but bear with me. Why would you have put on a mask in the first place if your were truly beautiful as you are in the design of the divine? This is separation consciousness coming through and putting on a mask is the by-product of needed more separation in order to survive and distract others from the original wound you feel in holding onto past pains.
- Are you truly feeling alive in what you are doing right now? Are you living your highest passion? Are you pursuing your hopes and dreams? Or is the comfort zone much more tempting to fall into as you awaken to the truth of this pain body you are learning so much about your harsh reality from?
Now I am asking you these questions not to perpetuate your fears, anxiety and pain again. I don’t want to be the one to perpetuate your trauma bonding cycle to deepen it further. But what I am having you understand as you read and process your emotions through these questions you may or may not have been running from is to have you realise that you do see the trouble of the heart, mind and spirit as a force which is pressing against you. Yet you are also the one who is holding the power to question and answer and decide where you wish to go next in your life. Codependency can be such a deep wounds we fail to realise that we still hold the greater power to observe, dissect and extract from our life. This loving consciousness that you are is ready and free to question and explore the life to engage in the lessons and gather the wisdom to perpetuate you into the higher timeline of self-love abundance instead of self-love deficiency. Be brave dear warrior spirit, overcoming co-dependency is the real deal where we run against everything that seems familiar to which we realise it was never serving our highest and greatest good. Return to your roots of pure love and you will find a community of like-minded soul warriors there who are ready to tend your wounds with you and be the greatest version of yourself.
Phoenix child, rise!